It Might Have Been
by Bludge
Summary: ‘For all the sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been……….’ ’ Seven years ago Sydney Bristow went missing. Now she's back, but things have changed........ (S/V and mentions of S/S) *chapter 7 is up!!!* Please R
1. Homecoming

Disclaimer: Don't Own. Don't Sue. Do Review.  
  
A/N: Hey. I promise anyone who is reading 'I'm With You', I'll be trying to update that a.s.a.p. I decided to try something different. Even though in the summary I said that there were mentions of S/S, I still have a sinking suspicion that they're related. Any who, please R&R and Enjoy!! - Bex  
  
Inspired by: 'For all the sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been....' '  
  
Sun. It was the first thing which came to her mind, as she thought about the things that she'd missed. Of course there was sun where she'd been, but it wasn't the same. No place on earth had the same sunny skies as L.A. A small smile touched her lips, as looked around herself at the old familiar places and the people. Normal people. How'd she missed this place.  
  
She began to walk slowly, taking her time, enjoying reliving her memories. She turned left and into the park where she used to go jogging. On the grass, couples lay in each other's arms, bathed in sunlight, not a care in the world. Children ran around playing, acting like normal children should. She'd never been a normal child.  
  
She tucked a curl of auburn behind her ear. Even auburn hair and blue eyes managed to turn heads. Anyone else would be worried by this. Scared of being recognised. But she wasn't. She no longer knew what fear was. It was just a ghost of a memory long forgotten. Along with most of her life. She just smiled at the men who paid her attention, blushing slightly, being normal. Pretending. She was a master at that.  
  
So much had changed and yet so little at the same time. She slowed her pace again. She was in no hurry. She didn't want to go to the place she was heading. But she knew she had to. There was no other choice. On spotting a Starbucks, she walked over and brought a coffee. The taste brought another smile to her lips as it arose more memories.  
  
'Stop thinking about them,' A voice snapped. 'Don't dwell on the past, for you don't have one.'  
  
Sighing, she tossed the empty cup into a bin. It landed in it perfectly. She could see the building now. It covered the street below in shadow as it loomed above it. Like a nightmare. If she knew what fear was, now she would be feeling it.  
  
She held her head up high. Confidence reflecting in her posture and strides. A man held the door open for her with a smile. He didn't recognise her. Her smile and confidence grew. She approached the reception desk. It was a different lady from the one she'd met when she first came her. She offered her a smile, trying to predict how she would react.  
  
"Can I help you?" Her smile was as helpful as her tone.  
  
"Yes. I would like to speak to Special Agent Michael Vaughn please."  
  
"And your name is?"  
  
She removed the auburn wig and the blue contacts.  
  
The receptionist gasped. Standing in front of her was a woman who's brown eyes and hair she knew too well. Standing in front of her was a woman who hadn't been seen here in years. Standing in front of her was an ex-double agent. Standing in front of her was one of the most wanted terrorists in the world. Standing in front of her was Sydney Bristow...  
  
A/N: So what do you think? I want your opinions and I know you want to give them. So hit that little blue button now! :o) 


	2. Change

Disclaimer: Don't Own. Don't Sue. Do Review.  
  
A/N: Thank you for the reviews. Thesheeplover, Crystal Raven, Abbie, Sarkie47, Valoriahn and Maea; you guys rock!!! Don't worry I wasn't planning at any point of just doing one chapter. So here's the next. R&R and ENJOY!!! - Bex  
  
' Get away from me, Get away from me, This isn't gonna be easy, But I don't need you, Believe me. Yeah, you got a piece of me, But it's just a little piece of me, I don't need anyone, These days I feel like I'm fading away.' ~ Counting Crows - Have You Seen Me Lately.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sydney Bristow - Enemy of The United States of America.  
  
He reread the words he'd seen a thousand times. Why had she refused to talk to anyone but him? Why? Did she think that she could use their past relationship to her advantage? Did she think she could manipulate his heart? Manipulate his now cold heart, the one she'd destroyed? If she thought that, then she'd better think again. Any feelings he had once felt for her were dead and buried. Just like the real Sydney Bristow.  
  
She had made him this way. She had ended every relationship he'd had after her. She made him trust no one. Weiss once commented that he was turning into Jack Bristow. But Vaughn was not going to repeat Jack's mistake. He wasn't going to let the feelings he'd once had for a women blind him, allowing her the opportunity to shot him in the back of the head. He was not going to share his fate.  
  
Vaughn thought back seven years. Seven long years to the time when she went missing on her mission. When his world stopped. How he had franticly searched for her for two years, knowing that Irina Derevko had her.  
  
Then she turned up. Captured on the CCTV cameras in the terrorist group, 'New Right's' building. The group that they had destroyed. Captured along with the passionate kiss she shared with Sark. The one that made him sick to his stomach and his heart snapped in two. Captured on the tape they found on their arrival, along with the bodies, the chaos and the note. The note with four simple words written on it; 'I'll be seeing you'. That was the day Sydney Bristow had died, along with the person Michael Vaughn had once been.  
  
'And you must remember that when you see her,' A voice reminded, 'Remember that you're not looking Sydney Bristow, just the person who killed her.'  
  
Why him? Why had she demanded to see him?  
  
He stopped for a moment to compose himself. To lock up his emotions. A part of him was not sure if the cold person he'd become had any emotions left to show. He told himself that revealing no emotions made him strong. But the truth was it made him lost and cold. Then he marched up to the 'Hannibal Lector' cell.  
  
He watched her through the glass, as she sat meditating in the middle of the cell. And as if sensing his presence, her eyes shot opened and bored back into his. Cold brown mixing with cold green. Her face was a perfect emotionless mask. He wondered if she even knew how to feel anything anymore. Slowly she stood up and walked towards him, not once breaking eye contact. She placed a hand on the glass, the only thing which separated them.  
  
"Hello Michael," She greeted evenly.  
  
Her voice made his skin crawl. He didn't know if it would have been worse if she'd called him Vaughn like she always used to. No, not her. Sydney Bristow always called him Vaughn, not her.  
  
"You will address me as Agent Vaughn, nothing else," He ordered coldly.  
  
"Alright...Agent Vaughn," She repeated innocently, an amused smile playing on her lips.  
  
At this very moment she was a perfect reflection of her mother. Even how he felt towards her was a reflection of his loathing for her mother. How he wanted to wipe that smile off her face. But he couldn't speak. Somehow, being so close to her had frozen his tongue. All he could do was stair at her icily.  
  
"Aren't you going to ask what happen to me Agent Vaughn? Don't you want to know what happened to the girl you once knew?" She asked in a singsong voice, running her hand against the glass as she walked along it.  
  
"I don't need you to tell me. I know what happened. Sydney Bristow died and you went to work for her murderers," He stated, letting his hatred and bitterness seep into his voice.  
  
"No, you're wrong Agent Vaughn," Her head snapped back to face him, any traces of a smile had vanished. "They never killed me. The CIA did. They killed me when they refused to hand over Page 47."  
  
Vaughn's face revealed his shock. Her raged look was replaced by a curious smile.  
  
"They didn't tell you, did they?'  
  
He said nothing. Her smile widened and she nodded knowingly. Then her smile vanished again.  
  
"I was tortured contently for 6 months. Forced to go for days without sleep or food. But I didn't give up. I kept going for my country. They tried everything to break me. Sark used to take care of me, as much as he could. He used to beg me just to give in. But I refused," Her voice grew as she remembered the memory. "Then my mother offered me in return for Page 47. The CIA had gotten all the information they could from the document, my mother only wanted for 'sentimental' value, but they refused. The country I was devoted to betrayed me. They as good as ordered my death."  
  
Vaughn didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. No one had ever told him about that Irina had offered a deal. He began to pity her. But his hatred forced it back. Instead he decided to regain control.  
  
"So why did you turn yourself in? Come back to the country that betrayed you?" He asked emotionless.  
  
"Because my mother wants me dead," She stated simply.  
  
"And why would she want that?'  
  
Sydney remained silent.  
  
'Not so cocky now are we,' He thought smugly. 'Good.'  
  
"What about Sark."  
  
She looked away. Her face covered by a look he couldn't see. Was it pain? Did she know what that was anymore?  
  
"He's dead," She answered using the same emotionless tone he gave her.  
  
Her head snapped up. Their eyes locked again.  
  
"Look, I'm willing to exchange all the information I know for protection from my mother. Even if it means staying in here," She offered, strength in her posture and voice.  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
"Well, I was going to make a list, but I thought that would be pushing it," She quipped cockily.  
  
He began to walk away.  
  
"Wait!" She called after him. "There is one other condition. I want asylum for two people. I want them to become American citizens and to live normal and safe lives here."  
  
He turned back; "And who are they?"  
  
"My children."  
  
A/N: What do you think? You know the drill people, please hit that button and review NOW!!! Lol :o) 


	3. The Innocents Of Children

Disclaimer: Don't Own. Don't Sue. Do Review.  
  
A/N: Wow, thanks for all of the reviews. Ryanne, zara, Sarkie47, Crystal Raven, Maea, jen, sbmvper4echother, abercrombieprep, april, Rachel, ARWVB, Beth, zrodezina: you guys rock!!! Special thanks to my beta, Maea, and for the parts she added to help the story flow. :O) I better mentioned now that this is not connected to 'The Telling'. In England we haven't got the second season yet (unless you have sky, which I'm sadly lacking :o( ), so any events which are connected to season 2, I've gotten from transcripts. I'd only read half way through the season, then decided that I could wait (which is a very had thing to stick to!). Just thought I should clear that up. Any who, here's the next chapter. R&R and enjoy!! - Bex  
  
'Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them. Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them. Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from them. Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it.' - Pamela Glenconner  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
He glared at her. Sydney was chained to the seat opposite him in the back of the van, holding his gaze with her own. Shock still ran through his system as he thought about her children, wondering who the father could be. Was it him? He doubted it. As tempted as he was to ask, he wasn't going to. She might get the impression that he gave a damn about her life or still had some lingering feeling for her. He knew that he didn't.  
  
She shifted slightly in her seat, chains rattled with every movement. Sydney let out a sigh and raised her chained arms as much as she could.  
  
"They're a bit tight. Think you can loosen them?" She asked.  
  
Vaughn still glared at her, wanting to hurt her like she hurt him. To let her know what the past seven years had been like for him. But Weiss stepped in before he could.  
  
"I believe that's not negotiable," Weiss replied coolly.  
  
Vaughn was glad that Weiss was there with him. He didn't know whether his friend had requested it to support him or the CIA had ordered it to stop Vaughn from trying to kill her. He didn't care. He thought for a moment about Will, wondering how he would react to Sydney's return. Will had lost two women he'd loved one after the other, had a nervous breakdown and left the country without any warning or an explanation as to where he was headed. Without any goodbyes. Just like he'd almost done. Vaughn choked back a bitter laugh as he though how he shouldn't be here either.  
  
The van began to slow as they approached their destination. He saw Sydney's face change slightly, but he couldn't make out her expression under her mask.  
  
"Can you please remove my chains before we go in? I don't want to scare my children," She asked in a soft tone, which was the nearest thing they'd probably ever hear to a request.  
  
Weiss looked at Vaughn for confirmation. The other man just gave a small nod, then took out a gun and pointed it directly at her head.  
  
"If you try anything," he warned, his voice a low growl, "even if it's so much as breathing wrong, you'll be going back with a bullet in your head. Weiss, take off her chains."  
  
They, along with two other agents, marched her into the building, a gun pressed to the small of her back. It was a cheap apartment block, run down and guaranteed to have neighbours who wouldn't ask questions. She stopped outside a battered door on the fourth floor. Number 47.  
  
'How ironic,' Vaughn thought dryly.  
  
She rapped loudly on the door.  
  
"Who...who is it?" A voice called from the inside.  
  
The voice was definitely female. It was drenched in a thick Russian accent and fear.  
  
"Tatiana, it's me. Open up," Sydney replied, her tone no smoother.  
  
The door opened slowly, a female warily peering out into the darkened corridor. After confirming who it was, she opened the door allowing the agents in the hallway to see her completely. She had long raven black hair, straight at the top then curling towards the bottom. Her eyes were a dark chestnut, her lips a deep scarlet and skin was snow-white. She couldn't have been any older than 26. A look of relief flooded her face and a smile brightened her features as she wrapped her arms around Sydney in a tight embrace.  
  
"Oh, Sydney, we were so worried," She told her, then stepped back to study the strangers. "Are these..."  
  
"Yes they are," Sydney confirmed. "Can we come in now?"  
  
"Of course. Of course."  
  
Following the young woman in, Vaughn covertly placed his gun back in his shoulder holster. As she securely shut and locked the door behind the group, he took the opportunity to survey the surroundings. The apartment was small and left a lot to be desired.  
  
"MAMA!" an excited voice squealed from the bedroom.  
  
A small girl ran out and Sydney knelt down to hug her. She had long wavy brown hair, her mother's brown eyes and perfect innocents. She was the image Vaughn had about what Sydney may have looked like as a child. A boy followed her out. He had short blond hair and ice blue eyes. Eyes that were exactly the same as his father's. Both of them were around seven years old. A pair of twins.  
  
The boy hugged his mother, his suspicious eyes never once leaving the strangers. He muttered something hurriedly in Russian.  
  
"Alec, we're in America now, so we speak in English," She reminded him gently.  
  
"Dad said Americans don't speak English, only bad English," He replied.  
  
His mother gave him a bittersweet smile.  
  
"Dad's not coming back is he?" the girl asked quietly.  
  
Sydney just shook her head and hugged them both tightly. Vaughn watched the thing he'd always wanted; a family with Sydney. He pushed those thoughts away, fully aware that her son was glaring at them cautiously.  
  
"Who are these people, mama?" He asked, his eyes not once leaving them.  
  
"These are..." She paused for a moment, thinking about the right word, "They're friends. This is Mr. Michael Vaughn, Mr. Eric Weiss...um...."  
  
She stuttered, not knowing the names of the other two agents.  
  
"This is Rob Creek and Adam Geller," Weiss saved her.  
  
She gave him a grateful smile. Sydney's gaze flickered between her two precious children, noticing her daughter looked reassured, but her son still regarded them with guarded suspicion. He moved slightly, putting himself in between the three females and the strangers. It was almost as if he was preparing to defend them. It made Vaughn's stomach knot slightly over how much this boy reminded him of his father.  
  
"Gentlemen, this is my son Alec and my daughter Katia," Sydney introduced.  
  
"Hi," Katia said shyly, whilst her brother remained silent.  
  
Sydney turned back to her children, "They are going to be looking after you and Tatiana. We're going to go with them to the place you'll be staying for a while."  
  
"What about you, mama? Aren't you staying with us?" Katia asked, worry in her voiced.  
  
She shook her head, "No, sweetie. I have to stay somewhere else."  
  
"But mama..." Katia began to protest.  
  
"It'll be ok sweetheart. Alec and Tatiana are going to be staying with you. Everything will be ok. I promise."  
  
She stroked both of their cheeks and kissed their heads. As she attempted to stand up, her son tugged on her arm.  
  
"We're not going now are we?" Alec asked.  
  
"We are."  
  
"But we haven't seen you in ages. Can you at least finish the story you were telling us," He pleaded, his sister nodding in agreement.  
  
Sydney looked at Vaughn. He gave her a brief nod and she turned back to her children smiling. They let out a small cheer and the three of them sat down on the falling apart couch, Sydney sandwiched in the middle.  
  
"Where was I?" She asked her children.  
  
"Persephone had just been kidnapped by Hades to be his bride and her mother went to see Zeus, to see if he would help her get her daughter back," Katia reminded.  
  
"Yeah, and Zeus said he would bring her back, just as long as she hadn't eaten any food from the Underworld. Because anyone who eats food from the Underworld must stay there forever," Alec added.  
  
"That's right. Ok. Zeus sent Hermes, the messenger god, down to the Underworld to order Hades to let Persephone go. But poor Persephone had grown more and more hungry and the food Hades had offered looked more and more tempting..."  
  
Vaughn let Sydney words fade away. He watched her and her children snuggled together on the couch, looking so perfect. It reminded him of what he had once wanted. What another man once had. It reminded him of what might have been.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The twins' faces lit up when they walked into the safe house. They looked at the comfortable living room, then ran and checked out the bedrooms and bathroom.  
  
"Wow! There's a TV, loads of different films to watch and a games console," Alec announced happily.  
  
"Cool," Katia squealed before running over to turn it on.  
  
"Oh no, hold on you guys. It's bed time," Sydney ordered.  
  
"Oh but mama," They moaned in unison.  
  
"Come on. You heard your mother," Tatiana reinforced.  
  
"But, Tatiana, we're not tired," Katia insisted unconvincingly as she yawned.  
  
"Yeah right. Come on trouble, I'll help you change."  
  
She picked up one of their bags and herded them into a small bedroom to the right of the living room. Sydney sat down on the couch, her smile transforming back into her mask. Vaughn noticed this, curiously wondering why she only allowed herself to act human around her children.  
  
"How old is Tatiana?" Weiss asked, breaking the silence.  
  
Sydney gave him an unreadable look.  
  
"She's almost 25."  
  
"How did she get involved in this?"  
  
"Her last employer was a rival of my mother's. He treated her very badly, like she was an object rather then a human. I was sent to," She paused for a moment, choosing her word, "terminate him and I offered her a job for me. I gave her protection and a home and she took it."  
  
Sitting on the plush couch, clearly lost in her own private thoughts; she looked away from the two men, allowing another silence to settle. It was only broken a few minutes later when Tatiana returned.  
  
"They're in bed," She announced. "Teeth brushed, faces washed and tucked in. They want to see you."  
  
"Thank you," Sydney replied before walking into the dim bedroom.  
  
"Mama, will you still be here when we wake up?" Katia asked in a hushed tone, almost frightened.  
  
"No, sweetheart," She replied, her voice soothing.  
  
"When will you be back?" Alec asked this time.  
  
"I'm not sure. Soon," She lied to protect them, "Soon. In the mean time, listen and do what Mr. Vaughn and Mr. Weiss tell you. And be good for Tatiana, ok?"  
  
"Yes, mama," they promised together.  
  
"Night my beautiful Katia," She whispered and kissed her head. "I love you."  
  
"Night, mama. I love you too," Katia yawned.  
  
"Night my strong Alec, I need you to be brave and take care of your sister for me. I love you," She repeated to her son, kissing him also on the head.  
  
"Night, mama. I love you too. Don't worry, I promised dad that I would always protect you and Katia, so you better be back soon," He whispered.  
  
Sydney felt a surge of pain run through her heart, but she didn't let it show. Instead she stroked his hair, sadly thinking about how much he was beginning to resemble his father, the way she would always remember him. She watched her children till she was sure that they were asleep. She wiped a tear from her face, not knowing when she would see them again. If she would see them again.  
  
Regaining her composure and placing her mask back on, she walked into the other room.  
  
"Take good care of them, Tatiana." It was not hard to hear the pleading tone of her voice, despite her best attempts to cover it. "And remind them that I love them."  
  
"I will," Tatiana promised, embracing Sydney. "Everyday."  
  
She returned the awkward hug, and then broke away. Without another word, the agents marched her out of the safe house. When they were outside, they placed her chains back on and lead her back into the van. Her final destination: away from her children and back to her glass cage.  
  
A/N: So what do you think? I love to hear you feedback and opinions, so go ahead and give them to me. :o) 


	4. Borrowed Time

Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't Sue. Do Review/  
  
A/N: Hello once again. Thanks so much for all the reviews; carmensandiego, Ryanne, S. Nicolai, girldevil, saccharine, lackeysa and anne. You guys are great. Please keep them coming and I'll try my best to update this a.s.a.p. Oh, and if you were reading 'I'm With You' I've finally posted up another chapter. Well on with the show (story). R&R and Enjoy!! - Bex   
  
'You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.'- John J. Plomp  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Vaughn sat on the comfortable couch in the living room, watching the twins thoughtfully. It had been three weeks now since they and their mother had walked back into his life. Though to apart of him it felt like an eternity. Like seven years.  
  
In that time, he and Sydney had somehow met a sort of mutual understanding. Her walls were still up and his suspicion and distrust still flowed through him, but they no longer fought every time they were together. Weiss and him also requested to escort the twins and Tatiana on day trips around L.A. And it was one of those trips that they'd just got back from.  
  
He watched fondly as Katia lay on her stomach, humming a self-composed tune as she wrote on some paper. Her brother lay beside her, drawing carefully with a graphite pencil, the fluid movement of his hand seemed to belong someone who out numbered his years. Even though Vaughn knew Alec didn't trust them, Vaughn had begun to grow attached to both of them. Both of them possessed the same magnetism as their mother and he was helpless drawn to it. Something apart of him screamed not to do.  
  
Katia paused for a moment and looked up at the agent on the couch, a question forming on her young lips.  
  
"Uncle Mike?"  
  
A smile touched his lips at the name she'd begun to call him.  
  
"Yes Katia?" He gently urged her to continue.  
  
"When is mama coming back?"  
  
The smile fell away at the question she'd asked a hundred times. At knowing that he would be forced to give her the same answer he dreaded.  
  
"Soon, honey, soon," He lied, feeling sick with himself.  
  
"But you said that las...." She began to protest, but her carer cut across.  
  
"Katia," Tatiana warned.  
  
Katia held her tongue, looking back down at the paper in front of her. Vaughn could still see the pain and longing in her face. The same things that always plagued her hopeful eyes. Something he'd lived with for the past seven years. A foolish part of him wished for their sakes that their mother had never fallen out with Irina, that way they would still be with Sydney.  
  
"You know why we're here don't you Mr. Vaughn?" Alec asked simply, unnerving Vaughn by the way he seemed to be able to read minds.  
  
"No," He replied, only half lying. Sydney still hadn't told him the whole story yet.  
  
"It was because grandma threatened to kill mama. It was because they kept fighting. We ran after she hit mama. I saw her. We were watching on the landing. And she told mama that she would kill her if she didn't obey. Just like she had killed dad," His voice grew louder and angrier at the memory.  
  
He stood up suddenly, his drawings flying everywhere, his eyes burning with anger.  
  
"I hate her," He screamed. "I hate her for taking dad away. For making us come here and mama not being allowed to stay with us. I hate her. I HATE HER!"  
  
Vaughn was taken back by his rage. By the way he openly expressed his emotions, unlike his father. Katia stood up and grasped her brother's hand tightly. The action caused him to look at her, and she mumbled something soothingly in Russian. And if by magic, his loathing melted away, and he squeezed her hand back. Katia turned her calm eyes, still mixed with the pain of missing her mother, at Vaughn.  
  
"You're going to see mama right?" She asked timidly.  
  
"Yes," He nodded.  
  
"We've got a present for her."  
  
She nodded at her brother, who picked up his drawings and she handed them to Vaughn along with the poem she'd written.  
  
"I'll give them to her," He promised. "I better be going."  
  
"Ok Uncle Mike. Bye."  
  
She gave him a brief hug and kiss, then repeated her actions.  
  
"The second ones are for mama," She informed him.  
  
"Ok," He smiled.  
  
"Bye Mr. Vaughn," Alec muttered and wandered off.  
  
Tatiana handed him his coat and smiled warmly at him.  
  
"Are you or Mr Weiss going to come and take us out tomorrow?" She asked hopingly.  
  
"One of us will," He replied, returning his smile.  
  
She nodded, "Good, good. See you soon Mr. Vaughn."  
  
"Goodbye Tatiana. And I've told you before to call me Michael and Weiss, Eric."  
  
"Ok. Goodbye Michael."  
  
He gave her one last smile as she shut the door securely behind him. Then he began his journey, out of the cosy safe house and back to less comfortable glass cell.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Vaughn walked in to find Sydney doing some yoga exercises. He might have imagined it, but he could have sworn that a ghostly smile had appeared on her lips when she saw him. What ever it was had disappeared as quickly as it had come, for she now wore her perfect mask again. A mask she only took off for her children.  
  
"Agent Vaughn," She greeted in an even voice.  
  
"I've brought these for you," He stated, opening her cell door just long enough to slide the sheets in.  
  
She curiously picked them up and scanned the top one. A proud smile managed to break through her mask and light up her face.  
  
"My, my. Katia is becoming a very talented poet indeed," She commented lovingly. "Did you read it?"  
  
"Yes I did. You're right she's very talented," He agreed, watching her in fascination about the way her children changed her.  
  
"And Alec too. He's a marvellous artist," She declared, studying the pictures carefully.  
  
She then looked up from the drawings to meet Vaughn's eyes.  
  
"You took them to ou- the pier," She stated more then asked.  
  
He just nodded sharply, "Yes."  
  
She looked away, her expression unreadable again.  
  
"Their father was an excellent artist as well you know," She began, apart of her warning her not to continue.  
  
Vaughn said nothing. His features were expressionless, eyes fixed on her.  
  
"He wasn't as evil as you all though," She pointed out as if she needed to explain. "He loved me and our children more then anything in the world. He was such a good father. So kind and gentle with them. He had such a good sense of humour as well," She paused smiling at the memory. The smile disappeared and she held Vaughn's blank gaze. "I loved him as well."  
  
The cell became dead silent. They continued to hold each other's gaze, till it became too awkward for both of them. They looked away and Sydney took it upon herself to steer to safer grounds.  
  
"Has my information helped you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you any closer to catching Irina?" Sydney asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice.  
  
"A bit," Vaughn took a breath, not completely wanting to say the next thing. "Because you've been cooperating so well, Kendall has agreed that you'll be allowed to see your children once a week."  
  
She gave him a real smile. No smugness, no cockiness, teasing or taunting to it. Just a genuine smile of thanks.  
  
"Thank you," She replied honestly.  
  
'Don't think I'm doing it for you,' He snapped silently. 'I'm doing it for Katia and Alec. Because I know what it's like to be without a parent. I care nothing about you.'  
  
'Liar,' a voice whispered.  
  
He paused for a moment as he considered how to ask his next question.  
  
"Why did you and your mother fall out?"  
  
She let a small sigh escape and avoided his eye.  
  
"Was it over Sark's death?" He questioned.  
  
Her head snapped back to stare at him intensely. Even though her look was unreadable, he had a feeling that she was trying to work out how much he knew.  
  
"Yes, that was part of it," She replied after a moment, "But my children were the main reason. Sark was right when he told me that we were very similar. Russia had it's own 'Project Christmas' as well, mainly using orphans. He was one of them. We both agreed that our children would lead normal lives, lives we never had, away from this world. My mother wanted them to be trained, but we refused. She sent Sark on a mission, which she knew was suicide. She killed him."  
  
Pain desperately tried to seep through her mask. Pain and hatred. She cut herself off, looking away for a moment to lock her emotions away again, then held his gaze again.  
  
"My children mean everything to me. They kept apart of the person I used to be alive. I never wanted them to judge me and be ashamed of me. I never wanted to force them into this awful life, like I was. People who disobey Irina Derevko are just corpses walking around on borrowed time," She stated darkly. "But I'm willing to risk it. I'm willing to risk anything for my children. They are my life, Agent Vaughn. I don't know how I would cope without them."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Something was wrong. Tatiana didn't know what it was, but a sixth sense was tingling down her spine, warning her that something wasn't right. She tried to remember which agent was on watch tonight. Pete Walker she remembered after a moment. She liked him because last time he'd brought her some gorgeous rich hot chocolate and muffins. Every agent usually let her know that they were there the second they arrived. But no one had yet.  
  
Tatiana twisted a strand of hair around her finger nervously. Why hadn't they informed her that they'd arrived? Were they here yet? She was just about to tap on the one-way mirror, when she heard something. A low hissing noise.  
  
'Gas,' Her head screamed.  
  
She grabbed a handkerchief from her pocket and covered her mouth with it. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she sprinted into the twins' bedroom.  
  
"Alec! Katia! Wake up!" She screamed urgently through the material.  
  
The twins' eyes shot open, but slowly began to droop again as the gas took effect. She handed them both a piece of material and told them to cover their mouths with it.  
  
"Get under the bed and stay there. Don't make a sound ok," She ordered, trying her best to calm her panicked voice.  
  
Katia's face was flooded with fear and she began to shake violently. Alec grabbed her hand tightly and nodded in confirmation that they understood. He acted as her strength, pulling her under the bed with him, wrapping an arm around her for protection and comfort.  
  
More gas filled the room now, flooding in through the air vents. Tatiana couldn't think straight. Everything was spinning, one thought mixing into the next. Her head swam as she desperately tried to fight the intoxicating gas. A battle she was quickly loosing. Slowly, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she drowned in the darkness.  
  
A/N: What do you think? Want to know what happens next? Then you'll just have to leave a review and wait to find out :o) 


	5. Achilles Heel

Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't Sue. Do Review.  
  
A/N: Hey, sorry about the wait. I hope it wasn't too long. I've been getting over loaded with revision and my test are coming up soon, so I may be slow updating all of my stories, but I'll try not to be. Thanks again to all you wonderful reviews; Beth, S. Nicolai and aaa. Please keep them coming. Any way, here's the next chapter. R&R and Enjoy!!! - Bex  
  
'For nothing is fixed, forever and forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have. The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.' - James Baldwin  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
She stood in the middle of the chaos, staring around like a lost child. The safe house lay in ruins; furniture was turned upside down, pages of books were spread across the floor, items in the room were smashed into a million pieces and Alec's picture were scattered in with the mess. It was exactly how they had found it. Except the bodies had been removed now.  
  
The alarm had been raised when Agent Walker failed to ring headquarters at the check-in time. Vaughn and several other agents had raced there to find his dead body lying outside the door, a neat bullet hole in his forehead.  
  
They'd rushed inside with their guns ready and raised to be greeted by the chaos. And the eerie silence. A silence so quiet that it screamed. Vaughn's first instinct was to sprint to the twins' bedroom, only to find both of the beds were turned over and empty. But it was the sight in the bathroom that froze his heart.  
  
Slowly, the door had sung open after he'd pushed it. The first thing his eyes meet was the crimson river, which flowed down the shimmering white tiles, trailing downwards to Tatiana's lifeless figure. She was curled unnaturally; shut eyes trapping her in an everlasting sleep, legs and arms bound behind her by rope. Then there was the bullet in the back of her head, execution style, staining the raven black hair with streaks of red.  
  
Helpless to stop them, as Vaughn stared at Tatiana's fate, Sydney words chillingly flooded his head: 'People who disobey Irina Derevko are just corpses walking around on borrowed time'  
  
He stared at Sydney; the blank expression, pale skin and the statue like form she stood in, making her resemble a corpse as well. How much time did she have?  
  
She moved slowly, wondering into the deserted bedroom. Vaughn followed her, watching carefully as she searched the room. Sydney froze and gently picked something from the mess. She gingerly held the teddy bear, which had once belonged to Katia, absentmindedly stroking its face.  
  
Vaughn didn't know why she had so forcefully demanded that she was brought here. Maybe it was to survey the destruction with her own eyes? Maybe it was to see the empty beds where two children should be lying in peaceful sleep? To let reality sink in? But, just like when he'd told her, not a single tear had escaped her stone eyes. It was as if she didn't know how to cry anymore, reminding him that Sydney Bristow was dead.  
  
He stared at the hollow shell as she turned around, locking their cold eyes in place.  
  
"We need to find them," She stated, her voice as emotionless as ever.  
  
"We?" Vaughn repeated.  
  
"I'm coming with you."  
  
He firmly shook his head; "I don't think..."  
  
"Agent Vaughn, they're my children," She snapped across. "I'm going to find them, bring the back and no one's to stop me from doing just that. So the CIA can help me or stay out of my way. Either way, I'm going to get them back. The choice is yours Agent Vaughn, what will it be?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
He watched her with half an eye as he collected the polystyrene cups of bitter coffee off the counter. He hated cheap airport coffee. Like a normal person, he handed the cashier the money, but paid no attention to the person. His mind was elsewhere, trying to figure out how he got tangled up in this again.  
  
The cashier handed him his change and with a cheery smile, wished him in a singsong voice to 'have-a-nice-day'. Vaughn could only force a thin smile in return. He clasped the cups, the gold ring on his finger shined as it caught the light. It was probably Kendall's way of getting revenge when Vaughn had insisted that Sydney Bristow was brought on the mission; giving him and the woman he despised the alias of a happily married couple.  
  
She had been implanted with a tracking chip in the base of her neck, but Vaughn still didn't want her out of his sight. Apart of him suspected that she'd set the whole thing up to escape. Another part reminded him that even she wasn't that twisted. Only time would tell which was right.  
  
He sat down on the stiff departure lounge bench next to a woman with honey- blond hair and sky blue eyes, which he knew concealed the true face of Sydney Bristow. Just like the light, brown hair and chocolate coloured eyes the concealed his.  
  
It surprised him when she didn't glance at him as he slid down beside her. She didn't even seem to register he was there, just continued to look straight ahead. He followed her gaze and his eyes fell upon two children. A brother and sister, who shared the same blond hair, playing together without the knowledge of what horrors the world around them held. Just how Alec and Katia should be.  
  
She saw the hint of longing mixed with pain in her eyes under the contacts. She continued to stare at the children, as if they'd been sent to taunt her. To be another blade stabbing her Achilles heel.  
  
Without realising what he was doing, Vaughn placed down the coffees and took Sydney's hand in his. Entwining gold ring with gold ring. The action caused her to break her gaze from the children and stare at him. He didn't look at her, his own eyes fixed blankly ahead. She scanned his face questioningly for a few minutes, before turning her head back. And gently squeezed his hand in return.  
  
A/N: What do you think? I want your feedback people, because that's the only way I'll ever know. So hit that little review button NOW! Lol, can't wait to hear from you. :o) 


	6. Back On Enemy Ground

Disclaimer: I don't own this.  
  
A/N: Hey. Thanks to S. Nicolai and Aimee for reviewing the last chapter. You guys rock! Hopefully I wouldn't be too long updating the next, I'll try my best not to be. Also please note that I've never been to Russia before, so I'm sorry if I've gotten anything wrong. Well, R&R and enjoy!!! - Bex  
  
'Without the mask where will you hide? I can't find yourself lost in your lies.' ~ 'Everybody's Fool' Evanescence  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
After hours of travelling in thick silence, they arrived in the country where Sydney Bristow was not safe to return to. But Lara Murdock was. As far as the Russians around them were concerned, the couple entering the hotel in St Petersburg had no other names then Paul and Lara Murdock. They walked close together, arms linked like a normal happy couple, but if anyone were looking carefully they would see the discomfort in the husband's eyes. But no one gave the pair a second glance.  
  
Just like every guest who had come in before them; they checked in, the bellboy took their bags to their room and they were wished an overly cheerful "Have a nice day". But unlike every guest before them, when they reached their room, they scanned it for bugs.  
  
"All clear," Vaughn announced, placing the scanner away and gladly removed his wig so his head could breathe.  
  
"I would be more careful about doing that 'Paul'," Sydney advised.  
  
The look he gave her told her exactly what he was thinking; paranoid. He filled a glass of water from the tap and sipped the ice-cold liquid.  
  
"There's no way that Irina could know that the CIA were sending us here," He stated firmly.  
  
"Do you remember Adrian King, the CIA agent who died in that tragic car crash three days before I handed myself in?" She asked in here emotionless tone.  
  
He froze and stared at her, her tone chilling his blood more then the water. Was she suggesting what he thought she was?  
  
"You killed him?" He demanded unable to keep the horror from his voice.  
  
"I was doing you a favour. Finally plugging your leak. How did you think I was always three steps ahead of you?"  
  
He glared at her. Her mask didn't change at his outburst, nor did it change now. Was she lying? It unnerved him that blinking was the only movement that happen on her face.  
  
"Trust me Agent Vaughn, Irina Derevko had eyes and ears every where."  
  
A part of him wanted to burst out with bitter laughter. Trust was an extremely funny word coming from her lips. The words 'trust me' were just insane. And yet a part of him did trust her about Agent King. Thinking of him as a mole did make sense, even explain things which had happened. In a way, it fitted perfectly together like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle.  
  
But then he reminded himself who this who was telling him this. Sydney Bristow: a woman who would gladly stab him in the back first chance she got, without batting an eyelid. A woman responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, and he wondered how many had fallen pray to her lies.  
  
'Trust me'; what a foolish notion that could get you killed. And yet sometimes you needed it to survive.  
  
The uncomfortable silence began to settle in the room again, causing the tension between them to become so thick that it could be sliced with a knife. Vaughn tipped his head back and downed the last of his drink. He whipped his backhand across his mouth, then turned his attention back to Sydney. She sat on the cream couch, holding Katia's bear delicately in her hands. Even though he couldn't see it physically, he felt her pain and it quelled his anger towards her.  
  
Upon clearing his throat to break the silence, she looked up at him.  
  
"So who's this person who's going to lead us to Irina?" He inquired, for she had refused to tell him before.  
  
"A man called Yuri Vershinin. He's the one who arranged the fake passports and got us out of the country. Yuri was the only one who had any idea where we might be going," She informed him, resentment lightly staining her usual tone.  
  
"And where is he now?"  
  
"I have no idea, but I know a man who does," She stated simply.  
  
"And who would that be."  
  
A mysterious smile played on her lips and she avoided his question; "How would you like to taste some local cuisine to night Paul?" She asked cryptically. "I know this wonderful restaurant."  
  
He inspected her face curiously. It gave away nothing; the only expression was her teasing smile. A smile she'd used before on him many years ago. Her emotions were beginning to break free, like they only did around her children. Her emotionless tones and expressions were beginning to be overwhelmed by rebellious feelings. And a part of his couldn't help but unwisely wish that somewhere under the mask and all of the defences, Sydney Bristow still lived.  
  
A/N: What do you think? The only way I going to know is if you tell me, so hit that button now. :o) 


	7. Blood Ties

Disclaimer: Me not own!  
  
A/N: Hi again. Sorry I took a bit long updating. I've been rushing about like a mad thing trying to finish course work and study for tests, then my internet messed up (it wasn't good). But hopefully I'll be quicker in future. Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter: bessi, Crystal Raven, kt, Beth, jorja and Shelly. Please keep them coming. Well anyway, R&R and ENJOY!! - Bex  
  
'He that raises a large family does, indeed, while he lives to observe them, stand a broader mark for sorrow; but then he stands a broader mark for pleasure too.' - Benjamin Franklin  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sydney and Vaughn left the hotel; once again with their arms linked to keep up the façades that were Paul and Lara Murdock's lives. She led him along the streets; the bitter Russian wind danced around them and they wrapped their coats tighter around their bodies to keep it out. Local people hurried past them, solely bent on getting on with their day-to-day business of their lives. She took a sudden left, leading them down a back alley and stopped outside a building on the corner. Vaughn read the sign about the door: 'Trojka'. The black painted framing around the windows had been chipped in places and began to fade into grey. Windows had been frosted over by the cold - only letting the dim light from inside escape.  
  
"Here we are," Sydney announced. "Shall we go in?"  
  
He followed her inside without a response. Inside 'Trojka' was as impressive as the outside. There was a cosy and warming feeling to the restaurant filled with small wooden table and chairs. On the far wall stood a large fireplace ablaze with a log fire. A woman in her early 20s walked over to greet the new arrivals. Her uniform was a fitted red shirt and knee- length black skirt. She had jet-black hair, which was worn loose and fell just past her shoulders. Her dark brown eyes inspected them both; her lips turned up in a welcoming smile.  
  
She spoke to them in Russian, her tone friendly and professional. Vaughn was grateful that 'Lara' had been born in Russia - living there until she was 7 - there for spoke the native language fluently.  
  
The woman gave her and nod and indicated with her arm for them to follow her to their table. She led them to a two-seat table in the corner; the dining space was very intimate. They sat down whilst she handed them a menu each, lit the candle on the table, and then left them to decided.  
  
Vaughn stared at Sydney as she studied her menu, pretending to be oblivious to his watchful eyes.  
  
"Honey," He said with false affection to gain her attention. She looked up from her menu and Vaughn let Paul fade away.  
  
"Why are we here?" He hissed in a hushed voice.  
  
"Darling," She smiled teasingly, enjoying his impatient nature, "You have to try a traditional Russian dish. Let me order for us both."  
  
She called the waitress back over and ordered something in Russian. The food - which turned out to be beef stroganoff and very good at that - came soon afterwards. During the meal Vaughn kept trying to get more information from Sydney, but every attempted he made was respond by Sydney steering the conversation back onto subjects 'couples' would discuss over diner.  
  
His patience had been worn very thin by the end of the meal. He couldn't help but glare slightly at her as she paid for the meal. The waitress look down at the bill and her eyes narrowed. She though a cautious look at the smiling Sydney and Vaughn, then hurried behind the counter. Vaughn watched as she talked to another man behind it: showing him the bill and every-so- often throwing suspicious looking in their direction. The man behind the counter picked up the phone and talked to someone on the other end whilst glaring at the couple. He slammed down the phone and marched over before Vaughn could ask Sydney what was going on.  
  
"Come with me," He ordered in a quite tone.  
  
Sydney stood up - her smile not once leaving her lips - and Vaughn followed suit. The man led them behind the counter and into a back room, with their waitress following. When their were safely out of sight of the other customers, he pulled a gun from his jacket.  
  
"Standing against the wall. Facing it," He barked.  
  
They did as they were told and the waitress frisked them. She shook her head at the man when she found nothing.  
  
"Turn around," He demanded and they co-operated. He walked behind them and jabbed Vaughn back with the gun. "Walk forward to the lift."  
  
He marched the pair into the lift. Vaughn tried to catch her eye to see if he could get an explanation, but she kept her eyes straight ahead. They arrived at a small corridor leading to a single door.  
  
"Walk to the door," He ordered.  
  
He rapped on the door and a raspy voice answered with in. He opened it and indicated with the gun for them to enter. Sydney walked in first, followed by Vaughn and lastly the man.  
  
They were now a small office. It was cluttered; every surface with covered with strange object, books or papers. An antic desk stood in the middle of the mess with an old man sitting in the chair behind it. Silver curls of hair fell around his face weathered by wrinkles and his watchful sapphire eyes. Smoke curled from his pipe and he inhaled it thoughtfully as he examined them. He stroked his long grey bread with a shrivelled hand.  
  
After a minute he spoke to the man who'd brought them in. The old man addressed him as Miroslav; speaking to him in Russia, but all the time his gaze was fixed on Vaughn and Sydney. When the man had finished, Miroslav looked hesitantly at the duo then slowly left. "You enter my restaurant as strangers, but know I am here. You know who I am. And you know the password that allows you to be brought here, which so few know. So I can't help but think that under the face I see before me is one I recognise," He stated softy, his voice roughened from years of smoking. "And I am guessing that person would be Sydney Bristow."  
  
"You are correct," Sydney responded.  
  
The old man smiled brightly and she returned it.  
  
"Sit down my child. Sit down," He insisted. "Do you want a drink?"  
  
"No thank you," Sydney replied for them both.  
  
"I knew that I would be seeing you again soon," He said as he poured himself a glass of port. "But I hope it would have been under more happier circumstances." He turned to look at her. "My grandson still works at the airport that Irina uses. I'm so sorry Sydney."  
  
Sydney gave his a faint nod. He sat back down and took a sip of his drink, eyeing Vaughn over the top of the glass.  
  
"And you bring a friend with you."  
  
"He's not exactly a friend," She corrected.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"His name is Michael Vaughn. He works for the CIA."  
  
The old man froze, as an uneasy look covered his face.  
  
"Oh," He murmured after a pause.  
  
"Why does that bother you?" Vaughn asked, finally speaking up.  
  
"Mr Vaughn may I introduce my good friend Leonid Gravril. Though you and the CIA may know him as Leo Gardener," Sydney answered.  
  
It took a couple of seconds for Vaughn to register where he'd heard the name before.  
  
"You mean MI5 agent Leo Gardener? The one who betrayed his country and America during the cold war?" Vaughn questioned in shock.  
  
"The very same," Gravril answered this time. "The one who is still on America and Britain's wanted list for treason and selling secrets to Russia."  
  
"Secrets that led to the death of other MI5 agents, not to mention American," Vaughn stated harshly.  
  
"I'm not proud of that. When I fled here with my family after being discovered, the Russian government wanted to offer me a medal, but I refuse. The rest - I have nothing to be ashamed of."  
  
"You're trying to justify your betrayal?" Vaughn snapped demandingly.  
  
"My betrayal was more justified then the war," Gravril retorted. "The Cold War was based on nothing but prejudice and suspicion. Communists are evil. Russia is evil. My wife was Russian and had the heart of the Saint. And she wasn't, contradicting popular belief, the reason I did it. I start selling intel during the Vietnam War. America leading a witch-hunt that killed and injured millions of civilians in the process. And robbing their own people of their family members killed in pointless warfare. Justify that Mr Vaughn."  
  
The old man's eyes burned with anger. Vaughn remained silent and after a pause, the old man's rage dissolved again. He sipped his drink and turned his attention back to Sydney.  
  
"Why did you bring him here?" He asked her.  
  
"Because I had to. He won't tell anyone about you. I promise Leonid."  
  
He nodded and settled back down.  
  
"I have 6 children, not to mention grandchild and great grandchildren here that need me. I'm not willing to risk loosing them."  
  
"You won't Leonid," Sydney promised again.  
  
"You've already met two of them. The girl was my granddaughter Misha and the man was her father, Miroslav. They live here with my wife Anja and my son's wife Lida. The only family that remains here with me. The rest are spread all over Russia. Useful connections are family," He said half to them and half to himself. "Blood is thicker then water. That's the only reason I every agreed to help you, never Irina."  
  
Confusion took over Vaughn's and he turned to Sydney for an answer. What did he mean about blood being the only reason he helped her?  
  
"Alexander, well Mr Sark as you knew him, was my nephew. Well great nephew to be more correct," Gravril answered for Sydney. "My sister's daughter was his mother. She married an Irish man called Seamus Cassidy. They were killed, officially mind you, by the IRA, but..." His voice trailed off. He took a good sip of his drink then continued, "When the Russian government set up their own 'Project Christmas' they brought him over here without my knowledge and trained him. Afterwards he was sent back and I didn't see him again until two years after Irina employed him. I gave him any information I had. Then Sydney, after she married him."  
  
Vaughn snapped his head around to stare at Sydney. She was married to Sark? Sark - the cruel heart man who killed in cold blood and even tortured her best friend - had been married to her? She avoided his questioning gaze and instead stayed focused on Gravril.  
  
"Leonid, do you know where Yuri Vershinin is?" She asked him.  
  
"Yes. Moved up in the world since you last saw him. Open a Casino here in St Petersburg: 'The Jewel of Russia'. Probably gained the money by selling you out to Irina," He muttered darkly.  
  
"Can you arrange a 'meeting' with him for me?"  
  
He nodded. "That I can do. My nephew, on my wife's side, works there. And I happen to have a copy of the blueprints to the building."  
  
He pulled it out from his draw and handed it to them. They spread it out on the desk and stare at the blueprints.  
  
"Now listen carefully, Vershinin's office is located on the top floor of the Casino. He is there every night. To get there you have to travel on a lift located in the back room, which can only be operated by a special key," He informed them. "Tomorrow night, go to the Casino at 9.30pm and play a game of Vingt et Un. My nephew will write down on a card the code to gain you access to the backrooms. You need to find a way around the security and the CCTV cameras. Make sure you disarm the panic button that Vershinin's has in his office. One of his men in the Casio surveillance room will have the key for the lift. You've got to do all of this to reach him."  
  
Sydney picked up the blueprints and nodded gratefully at the old man.  
  
"Thank you Leonid."  
  
He walked over and hugged her.  
  
"I hope you get them back Sydney. Remember if I get anymore intel then I'll get it to you," He assured her.  
  
He picked up the phone and quickly spoke into it in Russian.  
  
"Miroslav is on his way up to take you back to your hotel," He told them. "Good luck."  
  
A/N: What do you think? Hit that button people, cos that's the only way I'm going to know. 


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